And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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