brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize