we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
