it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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