If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
