so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
