i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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