so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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