If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
