Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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