After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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