Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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