she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
