Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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