This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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