I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
