there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Welp...herpes.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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