I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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