i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
