If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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