So gin and wine won't be happening again
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
50% drunk capacity currently
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
