I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
