Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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