If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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