i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
