I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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