I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
