This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
