a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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