so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You took a bar mat shot.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
