no, he came in my armpit
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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