I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
