Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize