i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize