We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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