i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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