she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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