I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
