she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize