either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
