The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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