Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
