im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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