you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Randomize
