The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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