Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
