Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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