We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
is it fun? or sober?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
