I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
