no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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