Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
my liver is dry heaving
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
