I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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