i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
