I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize