how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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