i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
