Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
