Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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