mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
