So drunk its hurt
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
we're so committed to being not committed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
