How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
