I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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