Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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