She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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