You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
